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Fan4Lost
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Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 2224
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 Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 2:55 am Post subject: Spam-a-Lot - Spammers Edition |
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Here's the teaser...I'm very pleased with this! for once..lol
Author Note: Though it may be influenced by certain locals, Spam-a-Lot is a completely fictional land. 
Spam-a-lot
Episode 1 - Pilot
Queen Elizabeth and her two lovely daughters entered Castle Spam-a-Lot with frowns upon their faces. The queen had always made them spend the summer in this dreary castle and the two girls did not like it. They would rather be hanging around their friends back home where they felt much more comfortable.
"I hope they do not expect us to eat that dreadful Spam again at every meal," Lady Victoria sneered.
"And we better get our own rooms this time," Lady Linda added.
"Hush you two," their mother said with sterness setting her prized champion Shih tzu dog on the floor so she could stretch her legs. "Go on Chica, do your business," she said shooing the dog with her foot.
Chica looked up at her with a frown then walked off trying to look important. But it was evident that she was feeling a little meloncholly by the expression in her eyes. She skulked over to a corner and laid down with an exasperated sigh.
"What's the matter kid?" a deep voice asked from the shadows.
Chica's head snapped up with alarm and she searched the darkness for the owner of the voice. Slowly an enormous grey-furred dog came walking up to her and she almost fled except his deep penetrating blue eyes held her firmly in her place. "Who are you?" she stammered out, her voice shaking.
"I'm Harry, I just came to live here recently," he explained lying down beside her. "I'm the King's new hunting dog."
"Well, at least you have an important job," Chica said looking sad.
"What do you mean?"
"All I am is some toy for her," she began. "She pets me all day, she makes me sleep in her bed, I have to tolerate those annoying daughters of hers, and if I have to eat one more piece of lamb...I much prefer beef."
"Phew, your life sounds pretty rough," Harry said with a sarcastic chuckle.
"I hate it!" she cried. "It's boring!"
"It can't be all that bad," Harry said shaking his head.
"I want to be human, they have it all," Chica said with a dreamy sigh. "They can go anywhere they want, they can do anything they want...it's not fair!"
"Whoa! Hold your horses there little one," Harry stated with disblief. "Human's are horibble creatures! They bathe all the time and they walk around on two legs!"
"But they are free, nobody tells them what to do!"
"You want to make a bet? I've watched these humans for almost a year now and their lives aren't so easy, you know."
"I don't believe you," Chica said lifting her chin in defiance.
"Let's take a walk," Harry said rising from the floor. "You want to know what it's like to be a human? I'll show you what their everyday lives are like and you'll be singing a different tune when you see."
As Chica reluctantly followed, she couldn't help but wonder what Harry meant by what he had said. How could humans have it so bad? It had to be better than being some noble woman's play thing. And just the idea of having that kind of freedom was enough to make any creature jealous. It was going to take some major convincing to change her mind...
To Be Continued...
I'll post the rest as soon as I'm finished. |
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Polarbear
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Joined: 26 Jun 2005
Posts: 13684
Location: having a bowl of brown with Davos
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 8:11 am Post subject: |
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Cool. Your writing style is great Steph.
Harry the talking dog 
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fallen_angel
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Joined: 20 Feb 2005
Posts: 4376
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 8:12 am Post subject: |
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Agreed Awesome teaser Steph... 
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Fan4Lost
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Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 2224
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 11:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks guys |
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Fan4Lost
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Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 2224
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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Gonna finish this tonight. I am hoping to be able to introduce everyone, but if I can't, don't worry, you will be in the next ep. If I have to, I'll make two parts.
And I'm going to try to spend equal amount of time on everyone. Everyone will have some kind of conflict going on their lives. So it will be like an American Soap Opera of sorts. No Holds Bar!! LOL |
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MovieGuy
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Joined: 09 May 2005
Posts: 9022
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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| lol A non sex Soap Opera? |
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Shankle
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 1476
Location: England
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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not if marcus doesn't read it...lol
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*hearts* Aislynn, Kaja, Rachel and Steph
*Rips whatzit" |
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Fan4Lost
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Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 2224
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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LOL...ladies of nobility didn't have sex before marriage in the old days. It was not accepted, so if anyone's having sex, they'll be married and it won't be described at all. LOL
It will be cool, trust me |
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MovieGuy
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Joined: 09 May 2005
Posts: 9022
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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| I thoghut this was just a bunch of crazy people in 2006 thinknig it was old times |
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Fan4Lost
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Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 2224
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| Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 12:31 am Post subject: |
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| Nah, it's set in historical times. |
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Shankle
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 1476
Location: England
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| Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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like, duuuuuh
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DaisyAdair
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Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 322
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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LOL
awesome Steph!
I can't wait to read the rest of this
and I am glad that it will be kept *hmm* clean
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Fan4Lost
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Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 2224
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| Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Steph wrote: | Spam-a-lot
Episode 1 - Pilot
Queen Elizabeth and her two lovely daughters entered Castle Spam-a-Lot with frowns upon their faces. The queen had always made them spend the summer in this dreary castle and the two girls did not like it. They would rather be hanging around their friends back home where they felt much more comfortable.
"I hope they do not expect us to eat that dreadful Spam again at every meal," Lady Victoria sneered.
"And we better get our own rooms this time," Lady Linda added.
"Hush you two," their mother said with sterness setting her prized champion Shih tzu dog on the floor so she could stretch her legs. "Go on Chica, do your business," she said shooing the dog with her foot.
Chica looked up at her with a frown then walked off trying to look important. But it was evident that she was feeling a little meloncholly by the expression in her eyes. She skulked over to a corner and laid down with an exasperated sigh.
"What's the matter kid?" a deep voice asked from the shadows.
Chica's head snapped up with alarm and she searched the darkness for the owner of the voice. Slowly an enormous grey-furred dog came walking up to her and she almost fled except his deep penetrating blue eyes held her firmly in her place. "Who are you?" she stammered out, her voice shaking.
"I'm Harry, I just came to live here recently," he explained lying down beside her. "I'm the King's new hunting dog."
"Well, at least you have an important job," Chica said looking sad.
"What do you mean?"
"All I am is some toy for her," she began. "She pets me all day, she makes me sleep in her bed, I have to tolerate those annoying daughters of hers, and if I have to eat one more piece of lamb...I much prefer beef."
"Phew, your life sounds pretty rough," Harry said with a sarcastic chuckle.
"I hate it!" she cried. "It's boring!"
"It can't be all that bad," Harry said shaking his head.
"I want to be human, they have it all," Chica said with a dreamy sigh. "They can go anywhere they want, they can do anything they want...it's not fair!"
"Whoa! Hold your horses there little one," Harry stated with disblief. "Human's are horibble creatures! They bathe all the time and they walk around on two legs!"
"But they are free, nobody tells them what to do!"
"You want to make a bet? I've watched these humans for almost a year now and their lives aren't so easy, you know."
"I don't believe you," Chica said lifting her chin in defiance.
"Let's take a walk," Harry said rising from the floor. "You want to know what it's like to be a human? I'll show you what their everyday lives are like and you'll be singing a different tune when you see."
As Chica reluctantly followed, she couldn't help but wonder what Harry meant by what he had said. How could humans have it so bad? It had to be better than being some noble woman's play thing. And just the idea of having that kind of freedom was enough to make any creature jealous. It was going to take some major convincing to change her mind...
To Be Continued... |
Cont...
Lady Stephanie was just setting her embroidery down when her door inched opened and the two dogs sauntered in. She looked up as sheer love spread across her face. "Well, hello there Harry," she said with a wide smile. "And Chica! I haven't seen you in a long time! Aunt Elizabeth must be here."
The two dogs sat down, their tails wagging with excitement. "Meet me in the kitchen later, I'll have some juicy treats for you two," Stephanie said patting Harry on the head as she walked out the door to find her father.
The two dogs followed silently behind her as she drifted down the stairs to the great hall where her father spent most of his time. As she walked in she began to speak was she stopped in her tracks by the man standing just a few feet from her father in deep discussion.
"Father," she whispered not taking her eyes from the man who had obviously just arrived. He was a tall man with brown hair just past his ears and such warm eyes. He must have been invited for the annual summer ball they had every year, but this man had never been here before, she thought.
"Ah," King Colin said waving his hand in her direction. "You remember my daughter, Stephanie," he continued as they walked together to stand before her. She just stared at him unable to move, trying to remember him as well.
"This is Lord Edward of Pancake, do you not remember?" Colin said slapping him on the back in a fatherly manner. "He has finally come for our ball."
Memories flooded her mind of many childhood days spent frolicking in the sumer sun. "Edward?" she asked in slight shock.
"Hello Stephanie," he said grabbing her hand and bringing it to his lips brushing a soft kiss across her knuckles.
Her body physically quivered as she stared into those familiar tender eyes, except now they belonged to a the man he had become. "Edward," was all she could manage to say before her brother Marcus and the court jester, Pauly came walking in in one of their usual meaningless discussions.
"Are you serious, man?" Marcus asked with humor in his words. "There is no possible way that a cow and a pig could mate. And even if they did, it would not be called a pow!"
"Well, what would you call it?" Pauly asked as they stopped before the group.
"Obviously it would be called a copig," he said with a snort.
"Marcus," Colin said breaking their debate. "We have a guest." Pauly, remembering his place, stepped back allowing his friend to reassume his position as the prince of Spam.
"Do you remember Lord Edward?" Colin asked.
"Oh yeah," Marcus said bowing slightly to him.
"Father, may I be excused?" Stephanie asked sweetly.
"Yes you may, but please find your sister and send her to me," he instructed softly.
"Thank you," she replied then nodded to Lord Edward as she made her retreat.
Harry and Chica decided to follow her as she floated outside and out to the courtyard. "I do not see how they have such hard lives, Harry," Chica said as they followed quickly behind her.
"You will see," he reassured her.
Stephanie walked stealthily past the chapel and to the stables looking behind her the entire time to ensure she was not being followed. Once inside the stable she walked along each stall trying not to look inside. "Aislynn," she whispered loudly.
There was a loud rustling and then two figures burst from one of the stalls at the end of the row. Stephanie rolled her eyes and walked down to scold them both. "Are you both mad? It's mid-morning, anyone could see you!"
"Relax, sister," Aislynn giggled as she glanced up at her male companion.
"I will not relax! If father ever finds out about this little courtship he will have your head Sir Josh!"
"I am not afraid to die for my one and only love," he said with pride.
"Oh dear Lord," Stephanie said rolling her eyes again. "Father wants to see you, Aislynn. I think it best if you do not tarry."
"Oh, what could the old goat want this time?" Aislynn said with mockery.
"I do not know, but tidy yourself, you have hay all over your hair," Stephanie said walking off to leave them alone.
Marcus was walking to the armory when Stephanie almost crashed into him. He had to grab her by the shoulders in order to stop her. "Where are you off to in such a hurry, sis?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Gerbil," she said relaxing considerably. "I'm on my way to find Lord Nathan. Have you seen him?"
"Just follow the trail of ladies," Marcus said with disgust. "Why do you need Lord Nathan?"
"I need to tell him something," she explained quickly.
"Okay, well, the last I saw him he was training in the bailey."
"Thank you sweetie," she said rushing off in that direction.
Lord Nathan was just setting his sword down when he saw Stephanie coming toward him with a worried expression. He rarely saw her this way and it made him wonder what was bothering her.
"Steph, what is it?" he asked when she was directly in front of him.
"Not here," she said grabbing his arm and yanking him along.
They snuck off behind the chapel and she spun around with her hands on her hips. "Lord Edward is here for the ball," she said with panic.
Nathan narrowed his eyes. "What is he doing here?" he asked with contempt.
"I do not know, he never attends father's balls." Harry and Chica watched from one of the bushes. "Please, promise me that you will not start anything with him."
"I will promise nothing," he said angrily looking away.
"I know that you two do not get along for whatever reason, but this is not the time and place to continue your rivalry."
"He will surely have something snide to remark upon in my presense. It would be unmanly of me not to call him out for it," Nathan said.
"I will speak to him and ask that he contain himself. I only wish that everyone have a splendid time at the ball this year. It seems every year the fighting becomes worse."
"We shall see," he replied walking off. Stephanie decided to go find Lord Edward and try to soothe this fued between them that she was even unceratin of how it began.
He was grooming his horse by the stables when she finally found him. He smiled at her as she walked up and she felt herself forgetting why she had even sought him out.
"Hello, my lady," he said, his voice soft and calm.
"Might I have a word with you, Edward?" she asked making sure there was ample distance between them.
"Of course," he said offerng her his arm. "Let us take a walk and we can catch up on old times."
"Actually, I only needed to talk to you about Lord Nathan," she said taking a cautionary step backwards.
Edward's face hardened slightly. "I am aware that he is in attendance."
"I had hoped that you two could settle your differences," she said with calmly.
"I will not," he quickly snapped. "That idiot deserves nothing from me."
"Why do you dislike him so?" she asked.
"I have my reasons," was all he said. His demeanor suddenly softened as he looked down at her. She had grown into a comely young lady since he had last seen her. He moved closer and warning bells went off in her head but she didn't move.
"It is really wonderful seeing you again," he whispered about to take her hands in his but she jumped back.
"My lord...I," but she was cut off as her cousins came rushing up all smiles and giggles.
"Stephanie!" they squealed. "Do not steal Lord Edward's attentions for yourself all day." He shot her a innocent grin and she smiled back with a short laugh. "So, my lord, you must tell us what you have been up to lately..."
They proceeded to grab him and lead him off as Stephanie shook her head in dismay. Edward and Nathan had been the closest of friends back when they were young, but something happened that changed that drastically. She would get to the bottom of it if it took her all summer. This was going to be one ball they would never forget.
It wasn't until dinner that they were all thrust into each other's company again. Pauly was entertaining them as they awaited the evening meal and Marcus was throwing things at him as usual trying to mess him up. It was quite comical.
Lady Linda and Victoria were stunning as usual in their dinner gowns, Lord Nathan and Lord Edward were seated on opposite sides of the room, and Aislynn and Stephanie were seated on either side of their father.
King Colin looked unusually pleased with himself as he stared over at Aislynn. Then he rose from his seat and called everyone to his attention. "Tonight, I have a wonderful announcement to make."
"Are we finally going to get a new court jester?" Marcus said with humor. Pauly shot him a evil glance then moved to the back of the room. Marcus just laughed silently and took a big swig of some wine.
Everyone smiled wondering what could be so joyous. "This years ball will not only be a celebration of Summer, but also a celebration of union! The union of my daughter Princess Aislynn and Lord Edward of Pancake!"
The whole room fell silent as everyone stared in shock. Aislynn looked as if she would faint on the floor and Stephanie almost dropped her goblet of wine. This was not expected! she thought. Her eyes drifted across the room to where Sir Josh was sitting and he looked considerably disturbed as well.
"Well," Colin said raising his drink. "Let us all rejoice in their blessed union." Everyone slowly joined in raising their glasses but you could cut the tension in the room with a dagger. What had possessed the king to arrange such a thing without first bringing to Aislynn's attention?
Harry and Chica both looked at each other from their places across the room. "Why would he want his daughter to marry someone she doesn't love?" Chica asked Harry quietly.
"That is how humans do it, especially the nobility," he replied shaking his head.
"But she doesn't have to listen does she? I thought she was in love Sir Josh?"
"She is, but she must do as her father says," he said.
"That is not fair," Chica said lowering her head. "Maybe you are right about humans, but still, i think they have more freedoms than we do."
"You'll see little one, you'll see...
To Be Continued...
Sorry it wasn't very funny just yet, I had a hell of a time getting everyone introduced without spending too much time on specific characters. But each ep will go deeper into everyone's storylines. |
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fallen_angel
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Joined: 20 Feb 2005
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Location: Australia
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| Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 2:13 am Post subject: |
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OMG I LOVED IT!!! that was so cool Steph ..
I particularly loved the banter between Pauly and Marcus, hilarious.
Can't wait for more, you've done a great job considering all the people you've had to include
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marcus
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Joined: 28 Jun 2005
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| Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 6:36 am Post subject: |
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That was AWESOME, Steph.
...And it'd definetly be called a copig. Pow sounds like dog food or something.  
Great ep, can't wait for more!
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