Lost Video Island

[marcus]

Thanks. And no, they don't really have names. You could make 'em up yourself.

And what exactly does this mean? You're not mad at me? Then why are you still spamming in this other thread and ignoring me everywhere (including MSN)
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[MovieGuy]

my MSN is freaking out. see your convo with me but it says im offline.. which im not... since im signed in

[MovieGuy]

1x01 - The Pilot
1x02 - The Good Meat

Are those good?

[marcus]

Okay. But you've ignored my main question - Are you annoyed at me or Nate or anyone else? If not, then come to the Spam 16 thread. Or you could actually change the name of the Spam thread that was sposed to be Spam 16 back to it and we'll come there. I really am confused what the hell happened, since we were just having a pretty small argument and suddenly you got really angry.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[marcus]

[Aislynn]

Good ep! But now I'm really curious as to who Paul's going to marry!

And I suddenly have this weird urge to become a vegetarian... So strange!

[marcus]

Thanks Aislynn. Meh, Paul ain't gonna be seen again...probably not, anyway. None of the eps really have anything to do with eachother, they could be read in any order.

LOL as far as I know there's no butchershop as bad as this. If there was, they'd so be in court.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[Aislynn]

I used to have a neighbor who liked this one particular store. But I could never get past her endorsement for its meat:

"If you can get past the smell, the meat's actually pretty good!"

If you can get past the SMELL???? Uh, gee, as tempting as that sounds... *gag*



Well, I'll just have to imagine Paul's bride-to-be, then...

[marcus]

_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[marcus]

A man sat at home, alone, eating some ham. Or so he thought.

“Ugh!” said the young man, spitting out the pale pink slab. “This isn’t ham! This is…Spam!”

He threw the ham-disguised Spam on the ground, jumping up and down on top of it. The man had always had a slight anger problem. “I am SO gonna kill the people who gave me this crappy food!…Now, where’d I get it from again?”

The Butcher.

Starring…

Bruce
Joe
Rodolfo
And Guest Starring Tom.

“Hello, human fellows.” said Rodolfo, walking into the Bright Butcher shop.

“Human fellows?” asked Joe. “Dude, I think your English is actually getting worse.”

“No, no, it is better.” replied Rodolfo. “New tutor.”

“You got a new tutor?” asked Joe. “Who?”

“I’m his tutor!” said Bruce, walking in.

“Oh, god…” said Joe. “You can’t be serious. Rodolfo hasn’t even told us what country he comes from, and I’m betting no matter what, he speaks a language you can’t speak.”

“Well, that doesn’t matter, because he’s learning English, not the other stupid language from some far distant hole of a country.” laughed Bruce.

“Yes, but you still need to translate it!” said Joe.

“No, no…” said Bruce. “My learning technique is to get him to know as many English words as possible…”

“Without knowing what they mean?” asked Joe.

“Exactly!” said Bruce. He walked behind the counter and put his apron on. Joe sighed, and did the same thing.

“Hey, Rodolfo!” said Joe. “Put your apron on.”

“Oh, yes, sir.” replied Rodolfo. But he didn’t walk over to the aprons. He went over to the fire extinguisher.

“No! Rodolfo, that’s an extinguisher!” said Joe quickly.

“Oh.” Rodolfo said. Joe handed him the apron, then turned to look at Bruce. Bruce smiled shyly.

The bell at the door rang, and a man walked in.

“Oh, hello, Tom.” said Bruce. “How are you today?”

“I’m gonna kill you, you tight-arse bastard!” yelled Tom.

“It’s money-squeezer!” snapped Bruce. “And why do you wanna kill me? Is it about the rat poisoning I put in your beef once? Look, I can explain…”

“WHAT?!?” shouted Tom. “That’s two times you’ve ripped me off now!” He clenched his hand into a fist, and aimed at Bruce.

“Wait!” said Joe, running in front of Bruce. “What is it we ripped you off with? We’ll replace it with the proper, good food, free of charge…and we’ll throw in an extra slice of ham.”

“Err, Joe…” said Bruce, still worried about spending too much money. “I dunno, I mean…”

“Just do it…” said Joe through grinded teeth.

“Oh, alright, fine!” said Bruce, annoyed.

“You owe me three slices of ham, a large piece of beef, and some chicken kebabs.” snapped Tom.

“Alrighty-doody!” said Bruce, running into the back. Joe rushed in with him.


“Alrighty-doody?” laughed Joe.

“Ah, shaddap!” said Bruce. “You know how scared I am of that guy…it makes me say weird stuff.”

“Okay, whatever…” sniggered Joe. He straightened up. “Where’s the good food?” he asked to a nearby butcher.

“It’s in the cupboard.” said the man. “Why? Have we got another emergency with that damn Paul guy?”

“No, this time it’s the damn Tom guy.” said Joe.

“Which Tom guy?” asked the man. “The one who carries around a plastic sword or the one who eats his fingernails?”

“I don’t know!” said Joe quickly. “And that’s not what’s important! Just give me the key to the cupboard, will ya?”

“Yeah, yeah…” said the man. He handed him the keys. Joe rushed over to the cupboard and unlocked it. He flicked on the light.

“Oh, god…” said Joe.

“What? What is it?!?” asked Bruce, running up.

“There’s a family of kittens living in here.” said Joe, staring down. Bruce looked down too, to see a family of tiny little kittens and their big mother running around, jumping on top of the good meats.

“Oh my god!” said Bruce. “What do we do? What do we do?”

“Okay, don’t panic…” replied Joe. “I’m sure the meat is still fine…” He picked up a piece and smelled it. “Ew!” said Joe, dropping it.

“Oh, damn it!” said Bruce, jumping up and down on the spot.

“Hey, guys!” yelled Tom from the other room. “I haven’t got all day! Get me my damn meat!”

“Okely-dokely!” Bruce yelled back, saying another strange word. He whispered to Joe. “What the hell can we do?”

“I have a plan.” said Joe, scratching his chin. “Rodolfo!” he called. Rodolfo ran over. “Okay, Rodolfo, I need you to go out and strike up a conversation with Tom. Just keep him distracted and don’t let him back here.” He turned to Bruce. “You have to get rid of those damn cats…”

“Okay, I’ll try.” said Bruce. “And what are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna get us some meat.” he replied, running out of the store.


Tom stood at the counter, cracking his knuckles angrily. Rodolfo ran out with some sort of small musical instrument.

“What the hell are you doin?” asked Tom.

“Me play piccolo, for you, sir.” smiled Rodolfo.

“What the hell is a piccolo?!?” asked Tom. Rodolfo put the tiny instrument to his mouth, and started playing high-pitched music.

“Damn it! Stop it, will ya?” snapped Tom. Rodolfo continued playing.


Joe ran over to a farm not far away. There were loads of cows and pigs there. Joe jumped over the fence saying “Do not enter.” and ran over to a cow.

“Hello.” said Joe. He pulled out a gun.

“Oi!” yelled a farmer, running towards him. “What ya doing with my cow?”

“Oh, crap.” muttered Joe. He ran over to his car and drove off.


“Come out, little kittens…” said Bruce in a girl-like voice. He was carrying a bowl of milk that he had put poison in. “Come out, come out… Ow!” He looked down to see a kitten biting his foot. “Get off!” he yelled, kicking it and sending it flying across the room.


“Stop! In the name of love…” sang Rodolfo. He was still trying to distract Tom.

“Look, I’ll pay you one dollar if you just shut the hell up!” yelled Tom.

“…Before you break my heart…” continued Rodolfo. He started dancing.

“Oh, god, just stop it!” snapped Tom. “I’m begging ya!” Rodolfo stopped. “Thankyou--”

“It’s raining men!” sang Rodolfo. “Hallelujah!”

“Ah, dammit!” growled Tom.


Bruce sprinkled a lot more poisoning into some more milk.

“Sir!” said a butcher. “Well done, it seems you’ve actually managed to kill them with the poisoning!”

Bruce looked over to see a whole bunch of unconscious cats lying on the floor. “But…” he said. “None of them have drank any milk yet…The only thing they’ve eaten is…the meat.”

“The meat did this to them?” asked the other butcher. “The real, good, proper meat?!?”

“No, wait…that’s not the good meat.” said another butcher. “That’s the bad meat…the good stuff’s in the other cupboard!”

Joe ran in, panting. “Sorry, but I couldn’t get us any more meat!” he sighed. “And I’m also never allowed to enter that farm again.”

“It’s okay, we have the good meat anyway…” said Bruce, rushing over to open the other cupboard. “Oh, crap.” There was a family of puppies inside. A fist punched him in the back of the head and he fell in.

“You stupid man!” yelled Tom, who had punched him. He ran off angrily, as Bruce lay on the ground with a bunch of puppies jumping on top of him.

Rodolfo ran in. Bruce stared at him. “You were supposed to stop him from coming in here!”

Rodolfo opened his mouth. “Err…uptown girl, she’s been living her uptown world…”

It was another typical day at the Butcher’s.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[Tom Co.]

Wow.. violence runs deep with me

great ep, i liked all the twists at the end with the puppies, made me laugh

[marcus]

Thanks Tom. Sorry I made you so incredibly angry.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[MovieGuy]

Great ep, a little too much like ep 2 imo but it still was funny.

Btw, I called the Cupboard of Kittens when I saved it

[fallen_angel]

sorry i haven't commented on your latest eps marcus... i'm a bit behind in reading everyones fics

I am still totally loving this fic ... it's so original and I love the humour in it. Keep it up
_________________
Pirates 3 - MAY 25th 2007!!!

[Aislynn]

I love the Spam reference!

Geeze, ya gotta wonder where all the puppies and kitties came from, huh?

Still considering that vegetarian thing, though... Great job!