Lost Video Island

[marcus]

Okay, I'd like to do another fic besides AAA, so every weekend I'm gonna post a new ep of my new fic, "The Butcher", while on weekdays I'll continue AAA. Here's a short description for the show...

Bruce runs his own Butcher shop with his son Joe and several other bad butchers, along with Rodolfo, a young man who hardly knows a word of English, in Bright, a small town. The meat he gets is cheap, and tastes absolutely disgusting, since Bruce is a bit of a tight-arse and doesn't want to pay too much although he loves to impress customers at the same time. Locals (Based on Spammers from LVI) buy their meat from there. But there's always something going wrong at the Butchershop, with health issues, pest problems, and angry customers bothering them all the time.

Episode One: http://www.lostvideo.net/phpBB/viewtopic.php?p=69430&highlight=#69430

Episode Two: http://www.lostvideo.net/phpBB/viewtopic.php?p=71312&highlight=#71312

Episode Three: http://www.lostvideo.net/phpBB/viewtopic.php?p=72819&highlight=#72819
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[marcus]

A large sign reading “Bright Butcher” with faded letters was outside a shop. This was the Butchershop of a small country town called Bright. But the Butchershop was anything but bright. It looked dull and boring. From the outside, it would probably slip out of the corner of your eye with it’s ugly grey and green colors. But if you knew what was going on inside the shop, it would be a different story…

The Butcher.

Starring…

Bruce
Joe
Rodolfo
And Guest Starring Colin and Vicky.

“I got some pig heads in the truck.” said a man. “Sposed to be delivered to the Bright Butchershop?”

“Yep, that’s us!” said Bruce. “Just dump the Pig’s heads in that large container.”

“Err…” replied the man. “That’s a garbage dumpster.”

“Yeah, it was, but I cleaned it out on the inside, so I could save money and contain meats in there.” smiled Bruce. Bruce was a major tight-arse, or as he liked to call it, “money-squeezer”. Although tight-arse was a much more accurate description. He had enough money to get by with proper equipment for the Butchershop, but he didn’t want to use it. “There’s no use in buying something for too much money when you can simply use some of your own equipment to create something just as good.” he’d say.

One person who disagreed was his son, Joe. “Morning, Dad.” said Joe, walking in with his cap on backwards.

“Is that a new cap?” asked Bruce.

“Yeah!” replied Joe. “Glad ya noticed! Isn’t it pumpin’?”

“Pumpin’?” asked Bruce. “It’s a waste of money, that’s what it is!”

“Oh, come on, Dad!” laughed Joe, putting on his apron. “Live a little!”

“Hello, English people.” said a strange voice. Rodolfo, a man who hardly knew any English, had just walked in. Rodolfo came from some far distant country, and was working at the Butchershop to earn some money. “How is you this day?” he continued.

“We’re good, we’re good!” said Bruce quickly. “Now hurry up and get to work! There’s some pig heads in the container, go chop ‘em up to make them look like ham.”

“You know, Dad, you could just get ham!” said Joe, who had now flipped his cap sideways for no apparent reason. “Then you wouldn’t have to tell people pig’s head is ham!”

“Ham comes from the pig’s body!” said Bruce. “That’s far too much money!”

“It’s only three bucks extra, Dad.” laughed Joe, rolling his eyes. The door opened, and the first customer for the day was there.

“Hey.” said a short young man with glasses.

“Hello, Colin.” said Bruce. “What can we do for you today?”

“You can get me some meat to grill.” said Colin. “And it better not be made of cow’s legs this time!”

“Oh…” said Bruce. “Well…what’s wrong with cow’s legs?”

“They taste disgusting.” said Colin. “Duh.”

“Right.” replied Bruce. “Okay, well, I’ll go get some meat…and it won’t be cow legs, don’t worry!” He rushed to the room behind the counter, and Joe quickly followed.

“What you doin’?” asked Joe as Bruce picked up his car keys.

“Gonna go get some better quality meat for this damn picky customer!” snapped Bruce.

“I wouldn’t call him picky, cow’s legs taste disgusting.” said Joe.

“Shut up!” replied Bruce. “Nobody else has ever complained about ‘em.”

“Not to your face.” muttered one of the other Butchers as Bruce ran into his car and drove off. The group of Butchers laughed.

“What’s taking so long?” called Colin. Joe rushed out to talk to him.

“Err…we’re just trying to find the freshest, most delicious meat for you.” said Joe. “Only the best.”

“Uh huh…” said Colin, rolling his eyes. “I need to leave soon, I have a dentist appointment…do you think you could hurry up?”

“Er, yeah, you got it!” said Joe, snapping his fingers. At that moment, another customer walked in. A woman.

“Hi, I’m Vicky.” said the woman. “I’m having a barbecue tonight, need some sausages and lamb chops.”

“Sure thing!” replied Joe, quickly rushing into the back room. “Okay, people, get me the sausages, quick!” he yelled. A butcher handed a string of sausages to him. “And some lamb chops!” added Joe.

“Um, I think Rodolfo was chopping some before.” said a butcher. Joe looked over at Rodolfo, who was carelessly just sitting on a chair.

“Rodolfo!” said Joe. “Where’d ya put the damn lamb chops?”

Rodolfo stared at him, then said “He flew off! Flew off like spider!”

Joe stared back at him weirdly. “Okay, you don’t seem to understand what I’m talking about.” he replied. “Lamb chops - where are they?”

“Err…” said Rodolfo. “They in oven turning black color.”

“What?!?” asked Joe. He opened the oven. Several lamb chops were in there, completely charred. “Oh, God!”


Bruce drove over to the BrowVille butcher shop, which was in a town not far away from Bright. He rushed inside.

“Can I have some proper meat please?” he asked quickly. “Not the type from cow’s legs?”

“Cow’s legs?” laughed the man at the counter. “What kind of butcher would serve cow’s legs anyway?”

Bruce frowned. “One who is good at saving money.”

“Like a tight-arse?” replied the man.

“No!” snapped Bruce. “Now just gimme some damn fresh meat!”

“Alright, alright!” said the man. “That’ll be fifteen dollars.”

“Fifteen?!?” asked Bruce. “Don’t be an idiot, that’s far too cheap! Why, most butchers would charge double that, and for cow’s legs too!”

The man stared at him. “What butcher do you normally go to?” he laughed.

“The one in Bright!” said Bruce.

“Oh, there’s your problem.” said the man. “The guy who runs that place is an idiot--”

WHACK!!!

Bruce punched him in the face. A whole other bunch of butchers ran out to see what had happened. They all saw Bruce and put their hands up.

“What do you want?” asked one of the butchers, shaking. “Whatever you want, you can take it! Just don’t hurt us!”

“Err…” said Bruce uncomfortably. “I’d…I’d like some meat.”


Back in Bright, Joe and the group of other butchers tried to scratch off all the black stuff on the lamb chops.

“Okay.” said Joe, holding up a pile of lamb-chops, that looked alright, but would still taste disgusting. “Don’t worry, she won’t eat it til’ later. What the eye doesn’t see, the butcher gets away with!”



Vicky and Colin listened in to what they were saying. “Oh my god!” whispered Vicky. “That does it, I’m leaving!”

“Wait up!” said Colin running out the door with her.



“I’ve got the meat!” yelled Bruce, running in, panting. “I’ve got the meat!” He rushed out to give it to Colin, along with Joe, who went out to give Vicky the disgusting lamb-chops. But to their surprise, neither Vicky or Colin were there.

The father and son just stood there, annoyed and shocked, with their mouths hanging open. After a little while Rodolfo ran up to them. “Ah, here’s some lamb chops.” he said, holding up some fresh, non-grilled lamb-chops. Joe stared at him angrily. Bruce punched him in the face.

It was another typical day at the Butcher’s.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[marcus]

I realise how little that ep had to do with the spammers. I wanted to introduce the main characters first. Anyway, honest opinions, please!
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[MovieGuy]

awesome

[marcus]

Thanks MG. It's very...odd humor. If people don't like it I understand, it's kinda weird lol.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[Tom Co.]

very weird and unusual... but i still thought it was funny.. great work

[marcus]

Thanks Tom. And yeh it's very weird.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[Aislynn]

Without a doubt, you've got the best imagination, Marcus! Got any plans to go into writing for a career? I don't think I've ever asked before...

Anyway, you rock!

[fallen_angel]

only been gone a week... and you start a whole new fic ....... and it was awesome.... like Aislynn said you have such a great imagination Marcus.

so another fic to look forward to every week ... YAY
_________________
Pirates 3 - MAY 25th 2007!!!

[marcus]

Thanks guys. Nah Aislynn I don't wanna be an author. The fics I write are written like shows so it's different to...like...novel stuff. But hey, if you used one of my ideas in your next story, I'd be honoured.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[marcus]

A young man and his girlfriend sat in their small but nice, little home. They were getting married tomorrow, and were having their last dinner without being married.

The man spat out a piece of lamb-chops. “Ugh! What is wrong with this gross meat?!?”

“I’m sorry, honey…I couldn’t afford any better after we had worked on the wedding.” replied the woman.

“That’s okay…they’re not that bad.” said the man, trying to make her feel better. He grabbed a piece of meat and put it in his mouth. Suddenly he started choking. He punched his stomach again and again until it flew out. “Damn it!” he said. He looked at the meat on his plate.

“Where’d you say you got this meat?”

The Butcher.

Starring…

Bruce
Joe
Rodolfo
And Guest Starring Paul.

Joe walked into the store.

“Oh, hello, Joe.” said Bruce, holding up two large pieces of pig’s legs.

“Yo, Dad.” said Joe.

“Seen your mother lately?” asked Bruce.

“Yeah, just a couple of days ago.” replied Joe.

“Ohh…how is she?” asked Bruce.

“Oh, she’s having a very bad time at the moment.” said Joe.

“Ah, good, good…” said Bruce carelessly, who couldn’t even remember why he married her. He often thought he might have been drunk for the three years they were together.

“Hello, English humans.” said Rodolfo, coming into the Butcher shop. “I did bring meat for you, today.”

“What?” asked Bruce. Rodolfo handed him a large slab of meat. He looked at it. “How much did this cost you?”

“Oh, he talked like pigeon.” said Rodolfo. “Then he ate my tea cup!”

“Wha…” started Bruce. “Damn you and your bad English.”

“Why, Thankyou, I do try.” smiled Rodolfo, thinking Bruce had given him a compliment.

Bruce stared at Rodolfo, annoyed. He threw the meat at him. “Just go back to where you got it and give it to them! Then get my shop‘s money back!” he snapped.

“Ohh…” said Rodolfo, finally understanding. “Okay, sorry…I go right now.” He took the meat and walked out.

“Ya know, you could’ve just taken the meat.” said Joe, rolling his eyes.

“What?” asked Bruce. “It costs far too much! We have to be money-squeezers, Joe, money-squeezers!”

A man walked in, with an angry face on. “Your meat nearly killed me, damn it!” he yelled.

“What?” laughed Bruce. “That’s impossible!”

“Oh, no it’s not!” the man yelled back.

“Who the hell are you anyway?!?” asked Bruce, his temper rising.

“My name is Paul, and I almost died last night!” he snapped. “I’m getting married today, so I want you to either give me some nice meat for free for me to serve at the wedding, or I’ll see you in court straight after the honeymoon!”

“Okay, okay…” said Bruce. “We’ll get you some nice food.” He rushed to the back room, where all the butchers were. “Get us the good meat! Not the money-squeezing cheap stuff we usually get!”

“But, sir…” replied a butcher. “The good meat is for emergency only…”

“This is an emergency!” snapped Bruce.

“Okay, okay…” replied the butcher. He walked over to a fridge door that had a lock on it. He turned the number combination in the right order, then opened up the door. He looked in. “Err…sir…we have a problem.”

“What?” asked Bruce.

“There’s no meat in here…remember how you said it was unnecessary to buy meat at that price and never use it?” said the butcher.

“Oh, no!” panicked Bruce. “What are we gonna do?!?” he yelled.

“Dad…” said Joe. “Rodolfo still has that good meat he brought!”

“Brilliant!” said Bruce, snapping his fingers. “Call him now!”


“Man, I feel like a woman!” sang Rodolfo, listening to the radio unaware of what he was singing. His mobile phone, which Bruce had brought from a charity store for two dollars, started ringing. “Oh…” said Rodolfo, disappointed. He turned off the radio and picked the phone up.

“Rodolfo! Hi, it’s Joe! Look, we need you to drive back immediately!” said Joe from the butcher store phone.

“I will, I will…” replied Rodolfo. “As soon as the meat is back.”

“No, no!” said Joe quickly. “There’s been a change of plans! We need that meat! And fast!”

“No, the squirrel told me paper was cursed!” said Rodolfo.

“Huh?” asked Joe. “Please, try and understand! Bruce is gonna be sued tomorrow if you don’t bring his meat back!”

“No, but Mr Bruce said no meat! He wants it to go back!” replied Rodolfo.

“Damn it, Rodolfo, just come back right away!” snapped Joe. “Or else Bruce will fire you!”

“Oh…” said Rodolfo. “Okay, I come back now…”

“Thank God!” said Joe, putting the phone down.


Meanwhile, Bruce was trying to keep Paul talking until the meat got back. “So…” he said. “What do ya think of…Asian midgets with no arms?”

Paul stared at him, confused. “Err…y’know, if you wanna keep me talking you could’ve just mentioned the wedding details.”

“Oh…” said Bruce. “Oh, yeah.”

Rodolfo ran in with the big slab of meat. “Here it is!” he said, grinning.

“About time!” said Paul, grabbing the meat and running out the door.

Another man walked in. “Hey, you!” he yelled. “You nearly killed me!”

“Oh, crap.” said Bruce. “Rodolfo, go get some fresh meat.” Rodolfo rolled his eyes and angrily walked out the door again.

It was another typical day at the Butcher’s.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[Tom Co.]

brilliant shear brilliant

[marcus]

Thanks Tom. I might put you in the next ep.
_________________

It's official - Aislynn is 36. Add a 0 to the end of that and you've got a full circle.

[Tom Co.]

most excellent

[MovieGuy]

Awesome ep... I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed 1x01 which i REALLY enjoyed

btw.... do these eps have names? Because... they look weird on my comp with the names 1x01 and 1x02