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Things You'd Like to Say! (Advice to the characters)
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thefilmchick
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:24 am    Post subject: Things You'd Like to Say! (Advice to the characters) Reply with quote

As examples:

-----

Dear Jack, Please stop crying. Sawyer did not cry that much when he killed the man that killed his father. Butch up, already.

Dear Sayid, You look good in button-down shirts and polo shirts and so forth in your flashbacks. Why do you have to wear only tanktops? I can name the literally four shirts you wear (red, white, greenish-grey, and tan). Surely there are other shirts from the plane - maybe even some with sleeves! Find them. Wear them.

Dear Locke, Pick a side and stay on it, for your own good if nothing else. You're being tricksy. Look what happened to Michael when he tried to do that.

Dear Richard, When you walked in and saw Ben playing with the doll Annie gave him, why did you not crib a line from Spaceballs and say, "No, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir?" I was waiting for it, dammit.

-----

Not sure how long this thread will last, but some of these had to be said before I forgot them.
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Last edited by thefilmchick on Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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wolffootball37
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:52 am    Post subject: Re: Things You'd Like to Say! Reply with quote

thefilmchick wrote:
As examples:

-----


Dear Richard, When you walked in and saw Ben playing with the doll Annie gave him, why did you not crib a line from Spaceballs and say, "No, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir?" I was waiting for it, dammit.

-----

Not sure how long this thread will last, but some of these had to be said before I forgot them.


omg now im going to have to go watch that movie agian!!!

Hmmm...

Dear Locke: Dude you dont have to leave the island... just hide in the forest when everyone hops on the boat...p.s. I want your babies!

Dear Charlie: Um... hey you kinda didnt have to die... i mean you coulda just left the station and swam out with Desmond!

Dear Sayid: Cut your fingernails please.. otherwise your a total bad ass!

Dear Smokey: REVEAL THY SELF!!!!!

Dear strange visions: I KNOW YOUR SMOKEY!!!

Dear Others with massive guns: You guys were ALLOT creepier in season 1!

Dear Aaron: are you the Antichrist???

Dear Vincent: Um...wooof?

sorry I got carried away...
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thefilmchick
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:13 am    Post subject: Re: Things You'd Like to Say! Reply with quote

Quote:
Dear Locke: Dude you dont have to leave the island... just hide in the forest when everyone hops on the boat...p.s. I want your babies!


That can be arranged. Just ask Juliet.

Quote:
Dear Charlie: Um... hey you kinda didnt have to die... i mean you coulda just left the station and swam out with Desmond!


Yes. It was patently obvious too, the way they set it up. OH WELL.

Quote:
Dear Sayid: Cut your fingernails please.. otherwise your a total bad ass!


That's not Sayid's fault - that's Naveen Andrews' fault. Guy plays guitar. And yes, they are scary, heh. However, if they show him whining over breaking a nail a la Willie the cabaret singer in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, all will be forgiven because I will laugh so hard.

Quote:
Dear Others with massive guns: You guys were ALLOT creepier in season 1!


Yes yes yes again. I thought The Hunting Party was one of the weakest episodes so far, mainly because the Others reveal (This is our island, There's a line you don't cross, LIGHT 'EM UP!, etc. etc.) just wasn't scary. It made me snicker, and I was fully aware that none of the characters would get killed, as they were all mains. Boring.

I do like some of the Others - Ben has been solidly in 'Characters I really quite like, after Sawyer and Sayid'-land literally since 'One of Them' - but they aren't as creepy as they could/should be, Ben and Juliet (when being evil) and magically never-aging Richard aside.
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mistojen
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Locke: Please stop talking. Forever. Thanks.

Dear Hurley: You win at LIFE. You should probably become really good friends with Claire and keep her safe from creepy!Desmond.

Dear creepy!Desmond: I liked you better drunk.

Dear Kate: ...where do I even begin?

Dear Jack: want some tissues?

Dear Sawyer: You annoy me to my very core. The badass bit is getting old and the romantic snuggly-snuggly with Kate is getting weird. Can you, I don't know, go for a swim or take a nap or something for an entire episode? I need a break.

Dear Claire: stay strong, mamacita. Don't let them sideline you just because Charlie kicked the bucket.

Speaking of which,

Dear Charlie: what the F-CK dude?! Run OUT of room, THEN close the door. *headdesk*

Dear Walt: Come back! We miss you and your amazing ability to age twice as fast as Aaron!

Dear Vincent: You're a curse. Everyone who owns you disappears or dies. If you weren't so adorable, I'd think you were an Other...

Dear Sayid: I'm with Kate - change your shirt. Please. And don't ever cut your hair...also? Quit it with the ponytails and take a swim in the ocean if it hasn't rained at least once in the day...your curls look sexier when wet

...yeah I'm gonna take a break before I lose all my mojo and run out of things to say...
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thefilmchick
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mistojen wrote:
Can you, I don't know, go for a swim or take a nap or something for an entire episode? I need a break.


I love Sawyer, but I agree with this part at least, as long as Jack and Locke and Kate take a break, too. I did get slightly Sawyered out (sic) around the time of the pingpong game vs. Hurley, but The Brig won me back again.

Quote:
Dear Sayid: I'm with Kate - change your shirt. Please. And don't ever cut your hair...also? Quit it with the ponytails and take a swim in the ocean if it hasn't rained at least once in the day...your curls look sexier when wet


I wholeheartedly support this advice. And I want to emphasize: Not that Sayid doesn't look good in tanktops (he definitely does), but they're the same four shirts and they never change. I'd just like to see some sleeves, maybe an unpopped collar - some variety, plz. Dude needs some style advice. Maybe he can borrow one of the fashion mags Kate and Sawyer were reading.
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Aislynn
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sawyer is welcome to come and stay at my house... you know, just so you guys can have a break from him.
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Distress Signal
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Jack, please shut up and step down from your leadership position. For God sakes, you're almost like...a certain.... Bush-like guy.

Dear Sayid, don't listen to anyone, keep your badass long nails, they give you uniqueness. Oh, and lighten up a bit. I'll find you another new girl if I have to. (or boy, whatever you like )

Dear Juliet......... SPEAK LOUDER!!!!!!!!!! Like a normal person.

Dear Danielle, congrats on finding your daughter. She's cool too. Well, she has the potential to be cool. Must run in the family. I need to see you more. You're the only female that doesn't depend on a love interest to get screen time, and the only one who's never sucked once. Do you hear me? You are a living miracle. Too bad we almost never see you.

Dear Desmond, I liked you better when you were a psycho freak. Those were the days.

Dear Locke, my arms are stuck. I know this has been a bit of an inconvenience for you, but I really can't unwrap them from your leg. I haven't seen the other characters for a very long while. Do you have any wacky un-stucky paste? If not, then in the meanwhile please make continued efforts to be more insane and interesting. Because apparently I have nowhere else to go for now. Now take me on another ride!!!
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mistojen
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aislynn wrote:
Sawyer is welcome to come and stay at my house... you know, just so you guys can have a break from him.


Do us all a favor, O Mighty Admin o' LVI-Land...kidnap him, please, will ya?

Distress Signal wrote:
Dear Danielle,I need to see you more. You're the only female that doesn't depend on a love interest to get screen time, and the only one who's never sucked once. Do you hear me? You are a living miracle. Too bad we almost never see you.


A-effing-men!!!
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thefilmchick
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, wait. Upon rethinking, has Sayid worn the white shirt since it got all, well, bloody?

...

Same. Three. Shirts.

And they no longer have a laundry!

(He might have a black one too - didn't he wear that one in One of Them? Still, he has too few shirts and no sleeves or collars. )
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Jemmz
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh my God. I was just thinking about something simlar to this last night! *weirded out* oh well, GREAT idea. I just have one for now

Dear Charlie, I'm so sorry about all that's happened to you. You were brave an sacraficed yourself even though you were scared. I can understand what you did. And you fought til the very end. Desmond told you of your fate and you accepted it with bravery. You drowned to get rescue, for Claire and for Aaron. And for that you are a hero. I hope Claire and Aaron will be safe and rescued along with Hurley and everyone else. Rest in peace, Charlie Pace =)

-
Sorry! Had to!
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thefilmchick
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 5:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Walt, At this rate, you are most likely taller than I am in real life. When do they put Gary Coleman in as your replacement?

Dear Jin, I went to South America this summer knowing no Spanish. In fact, just from living in South Korea all your life, and through movies and TV and whatnot, you probably knew more English to start with than I knew of Spanish. In six weeks in South America, I could talk in fluent enough Spanish to talk politics with people, and use simple past and present tense, and speak in full sentences.

You have been on this island for three months now, amongst people who speak only English (as I assume you do not know Arabic, Spanish, Hausa/Igbo/Yoruba (whatever Eko spoke), Portuguese, or Desmond's crazy moon language ), besides your wife. Why have you not learned English much more quickly? I am a language person, I know, but you should be beyond the Tarzan stage by now.

Signed, I wish the Lost writers would study linguistics.
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IntoTheVoid
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 4:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Kate

Choose Jack
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rbexter93
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Sawyer,
Can you just not be in one episode?
It might make me like you again
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Jemmz
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Jack,

Please stop crying over freakin' everything. Most of all bloody Sarah! AND Kate! We get it. You've been through a relationship that didn't end well and now it's happening again. But SERIOUSLY?!?! If you don't want to be the leader anymore then fine. Listen to Sayid. YOU be the sheep that follows the shephard and YOU appreciate the real heroes. Start a new life with Juliet or something. Just move on and PLEASE STOP THE KILLING, jeeze!
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thefilmchick
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jemmz wrote:
But SERIOUSLY?!?! If you don't want to be the leader anymore then fine. Listen to Sayid. YOU be the sheep that follows the shephard and YOU appreciate the real heroes.


I would love to see that, heh. Unfortunately, it won't happen as 1) Jack would never listen to Sayid if Sayid weren't diplomatic and solicitous about it and 2) Jack is on the other side of the island from Sayid.

Quote:
PLEASE STOP THE KILLING, jeeze!


Whom has Jack killed? Actually, I think manslaughter might be a good thing for Jack to try. At least the guilt would give him something worthwhile to cry about, heh.

Dear Desmond, Good luck getting out of the flooded underwater station with Mikhail nearby and still alive, brotha.
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