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Shannon Loves Claire, Now (Shannon-centric)

 
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mistojen
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 6:20 am    Post subject: Shannon Loves Claire, Now (Shannon-centric) Reply with quote

Shannon Loves Claire, Now
A/N: since HTML is off in this forum, I couldn't use the <strike> code, and instead, I just made the text smaller. Just pretend that the word/words are crossed out, okay?

Shannon loved Claire now. Her emotions had softened much since Boone’s untimely departure, but most of that was due to Claire.

Claire had given Shannon a spare diary that she’d found in her things. When asked, Claire couldn’t remember why she’d packed an extra, but Shannon had a thought that Claire’s entries in her own diary were probably wordy enough that if her stay had been longer than a few weeks where she’d planned on being, Claire would need that extra book.

At first, Shannon had turned her down outright. She didn’t need some stupid book to put down her thoughts. That was why she had Vincent, anyway, wasn’t it? The second time Claire had offered it, Shannon had declined again, this time stating that she couldn’t possibly rob Claire of the thing she would eventually need to continue her own thoughts.

The third time, however, when a few weeks had gone by and Vincent had quit being as good a listener as Walt had promised, Claire offered the book again. At the moment Claire had approached her, Shannon was pushing Vincent away, telling him how useless he was. The young mother had thrust the book at Shannon. “You need this,” she insisted, cradling Aaron close to her with one arm. Shannon decided she was right.

It had now become Shannon’s ritual in the early morning hours, when the sun was barely light enough for her to see, to make her way to Boone’s grave, sit down beside him, and write. Mostly, Shannon wrote down memories more than thoughts, but today was an odd day. Today’s entry included both.

We were still in high school. I’m pretty sure Boone was a senior. Whatever, that doesn’t matter. We were at a football game. I didn’t want to go, but again, whatever. My boyfriend had just broken up with me—yeah, I know, would you f***ing believe it in a million years? Anyway, Boone had draped an arm around me. We didn’t go to the same school…no one knew who he was. Point being, I decided that it would be cool to enjoy the touch of a man again. I know it sounds gross, because he kind of is was my brother, but he wasn’t, too.

He’d kissed me on the cheek and I’m pretty sure that’s what started the whole thing. No one would believe me if I told them now, but back in high school, I was kind of a softy. When Adam bailed, it broke my heart. Boone glued the pieces back together again.

I don’t know when everything changed. I don’t remember when I became a bitch, and I don’t remember when I decided that Boone was a toy. Thinking back, I wish things had stayed the way they were. Thinking back…I wish I hadn’t taken advantage of him. I miss him so much now, and the sick thing, really, is that I miss him because I miss having that toy. He is was my all time favorite toy.

Yesterday I saw Jack and Kate talking. I think that there’s probably something going on between them that no one else knows about, and I think it’s hot as hell. Jack, that is, not Kate.

Charlie and Claire make me sick with all their cuddling. Makes me miss Boone even more, because I remember how wonderful he was at all of that gunk. Sayid is cool and all, but really…Boone was the best. The
best.

The baby never stops crying now that Sawyer is gone. The other day, Charlie brought him over to Vincent and I. At first, I was like, “what the f***? Why is he bringing that thing over here?” but then, I realized his logic. No one liked Sawyer, but the baby did. So then, what, no one likes me? It pissed me off and the baby cried still. So, I pretty much told Charlie to f*** himself and leave me alone. Vincent left me, too. That dog is useless, I swear. Walt promised he’d be a good listener, and he was…but not anymore. Maybe dogs know more than we think. Maybe he got sick of hearing the same thing over and over. Guess it’s a good thing Sayid doesn’t get sick of it. I don’t know what I’d do then.

Another thing I’ve noticed…the weather has been beautiful since the raft took off. Is that a good thing? I know that usually it’s a cliché thing they do with literature, but maybe it’s true. Maybe the weather being so nice means that we’ll be rescued soon. But then…the weather was beautiful for Boone’s funeral…


Shannon shut the diary and looked out into the sunrise. She was alone; she checked. “It’s going to be another nice day, Boone,” she said softly, “I can already tell.”

He never replied. It made her heart break all over again, even though she never did expect to hear his words.

She stood slowly and tucked the diary and pen into a purse she’d found with someone’s luggage. It wasn’t hers, but it worked.

Trudging slowly away from his grave, Shannon murmured wishes for Boone to stay strong. He couldn’t hear her and she didn’t care; it made her feel better to say it. “I’m not the same person I was,” she’d say, too. “When I see you again…you’ll have a reason to love me. I promise.”

Looking down at the small book poking out of the top of the purse, she smiled. She loved that stupid thing and the way it helped her feel better even though it was all her words on the pages. She thought about it, briefly, and yes…Shannon loved Claire now.
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